BW said (July 3, 2024):

At age 76 I have concluded, FWIW, that intellect and sex are two separate, irreconcilable realities, independent of each other. Like decimals and fractions, the two are congruent just often enough to sustain the illusion that ideas can govern sexuality, or at least could, if people would only stop . . . being people. But they won't, because they can't. So they can't -- they can only pretend to.

Russia has the right idea: outside of a few, self-evident prohibitions, hands off. E.g., the onset of puberty and "the age of consent" there are roughly synonymous.

Does this enable socially maladaptive outcomes? Tragedies, even? Of course it does -- the same way as allowing people to own firearms, and people who drink alcohol to drive automobiles. But the inevitable collateral damage is intrinsic to, and indivisible from, liberty. Free speech ditto. Warts and all, it's preferable to the alternative, be that Taliban-style tyranny or British, parliamentary model governance by "aunt Sally with PMS" disguised as concensus.

Life is pretty simple, at root, when imaginings about it stop being substitutions for it. Imaginings about things like the supposed necessity of laws (especially those concerning sex) governing everyone and everything.

Say two businessmen are at loggerheads over a resource. In the "rules-based order" system, they deplete their resources, appealing to an omnipotent judicial system. In Russia the two principals, each with a sidearm, go into a room, close the door, and emerge with an agreement.

Concerning sex, you want, in effect, to govern fractions using decimals. That's crazy. And, on some level, you know it. A wise old Native American explained it to me this way: "Supposing you run off with my wife. There's no law against that. Then suppose I track you down and bury my tomahawk in your skull. There's no law against that, either. People don't need laws to live. Laws are bullshit."

Life is not nearly as complicated as people make it out to be. It just only works the way it works.

Nicht war?

rh said (July 2, 2024):

Look at the way women are dressing since the 1960s: Mini-skirts, hot pants, holey blue jeans, bikinis, halter tops, short shorts, boots, midriff showing outfits, and lots of make up. And that’s worn even to church!

They know what they are doing…getting noticed. For what? I know they compete amongst themselves for the “best looking woman in the room” medal. As a man, as a husband, as a father, and church goer, I wouldn’t mind a return to modesty by all of us. When I see a modestly well-dressed woman, I admire her appearance. I appreciate her look. (This goes for us men, too. We can wear nice clothes to church as well, not faded blue jeans and the tattered college sweatshirt. How about wearing a nice hat?)

I know some women are thinking like this as well. I saw an older woman basically glare at a scantily clad younger woman while we were leaving the church sanctuary. She said nothing, but I could see her disgust in her face.

Just call me a cranky old man,

Jim said (July 2, 2024):

Once again you enter into the relationship between normal men and normal women.

Normal women want to be loved, cared for, “loved” by normal men.

Normal men want to love normal women. Care for them. Love them as they are.

They're just women, nothing like men. They are all from Venus.

Sex as intercourse has nothing to do with it. It’s all about our “job” as men.

Women desire to be loved by their fathers, the man in their life as a child.

So it is with normal adult women. They seek normal men who love them as they are.

Their desire is to be loved, cared for, in turn normal women will give up control.

Normal women really don’t want to be “the boss.” Normal women want to be loved as they are.

Unfortunately, in today’s world men don’t have a clue what their “job” is and what their reward is.

Bob said (July 2, 2024):

The Biggest Problem with Too Much Sex without Love is that You Can Lose your Soul and forget about God.

John said (July 2, 2024):

Re: Satanism - The Religion of Anonymous Sex & Porn

Henry, you ended that essay with the wistful comment:

“I would have saved myself a lot of time and energy, instead of learning these lessons slowly and painfully.”

Don't look mournfully into the past, Henry; the whole point of life is to learn those lessons that often come slowly and painfully! Perhaps, since writing the article in 2013, you've relented on the regret. Like most men, I, too, went thru a trial by (sexual) fire, going down some 'dead ends,' wasting energy pursuing the false dreams of 'fulfillment,' and so on.

But, in the end (i.e. old age... lol) think of all that wisdom you gained, and that you share on your website. In retrospect, I can see how all the trials were, in a sense, provided by 'the Universe' (God) for my (and your) moral maturity. We're all here to grow in consciousness toward godliness. Some are quicker than others; but our progress is mostly uneven-- e.g. we might excel in discernment, while lagging in tolerance.

Anyway, I believe all sincere 'students of life' are progressing as God intends. The blatant evil of our present Age is sent to wake up the sleep-walkers; sadly, it appears that more extreme alarms are necessary for a great majority!
Cheers, Henry; you're doing a great job.

Siobhan said (June 28, 2013):

I have been reading your stuff for a while now and find it very thought provoking although i often feel uneasy with the slight woman bashing that goes on, you seem to have excelled yourself in this article.

Regarding your lines 'Were it not for sex, would men spend any time with women?' Is that how you really feel? if so then i think that's a great shame and i certainly don't believe that any great numbers of men feel like that, it seems that you do...

And this comment '(Why do men feel they have to satisfy women?)' really???

I didn't realize you were such a misanthrope. Why don't you write a piece on this too and then filter the comments so that no-one seems to disagree with your line of thinking.

And seriously what is all that about with the link to the trashy porn site in the comments! WHY???

This has got my head spinning...are you a woman hater?

Am i totally in the wrong crowd here????

--

Siobhan,

Your points are valid and well taken. I am not a woman-hater. The article expresses the frustration I feel after wasting so much of my life chasing a media-made chimera. Women have been victimized as much as men.

My position is that men should search out and champion traditional women: http://henrymakow.com/051201.html

I have defined and defended heterosexuality and femininity for more than 10 years. Healthy heterosexuality depends on male power. Sexual desire undermines male power if men exchange power for sex. This article should be viewed in these terms.

As for that "trashy porn site," I haven't looked at it. I presume Doug was showing how many women have disgraced themselves due to porn.

Art said (June 20, 2013):

I fell in love when I was 15 & all I ever wanted was one girl to marry.

But I didn't get the girl I wanted so I took the other 100 in series. But I learnt a lot along the way.

& its my sincere belief that the monkey won't leave you until you learn to treat a woman right, ie. you earn your spiritual release. Discarding selfish gratification you gotta learn to make the bells ring between her ears!

Then you fulfill your manhood by taking her to the woman she's meant to be.

I think that all the rest is intellectual dryness & ascetic coldness.

JV said (June 20, 2013):

So true. A friend noted that 'ruling castes have always used human sexual desire ' as a mechanism of control and punishment'.

In the feudal set-up, men were pulled apart by four horses if they tried to leave the feudal paradigm of peasant 'marriage', where the Lord had the 'first night'...

Hence the monks decided to opt out of all this.

I too am glad to be almost 70 and to 'have left the insanity behind'.

But try to tell this a 20 or 30 or 40 year old?

Some 'cultures' try to minimize the 'monkey business drive'; others try to maximize it, and today's media controllers try to overdrive it. A lot of money and social control is to be made from this drive... "What were those Victorians thinking! " many Illuminati said...

Narayan said (June 20, 2013):

Thankyou Henry for your sex related articles. The subject is one which few persons comprehend, particularly in this day and age where TPTB cultivate an obsession with it - the more perverted the better. Being bent is normal, it's PC, it's cool, it's modern and progressive. Let's all keep the collective psych between our legs.

Even amongst the well known 'Truthers' - persons who purportedly work to free themselves and others from the bondage of Big Brother - hardly any advise to withdraw the consciousness from the crotch. This sex life is the bane of the ignorant soul in this world. One becomes a shameless moron while running after his genital interests. A massive diversion. While our minds are between each other's legs, reality and the bigger picture are inaccessible.

Rule of thumb:- If TPTB promote something, then give it a miss; if TPTB advise against something, or, indeed, ban it, then check it out quick!

Here is verse from Bhagavad-gita 16.21 (compiled about 5000 years ago) -

" There are three gates leading to hell: lust, anger and greed. They cause the destruction of the atma (Sanskrit for soul), and therefore, one should completely abandon them."

The following is part of a commentary given by a great soul on this verse -

"These demonic qualities are both self-destructive and the gateways to hell. Lust, anger and greed are the root of all other demonic tendencies. Therefore every human being who desires his own welfare should give them up completely."

Much more could be said - such an important subject for the awakening soul.

Doug said (June 20, 2013):

Couldn't agree with you more Henry. I'm only 34 and i feel I've gotten the monkey off my back. I love my wife and i still have much desire for her, but its rooted in emotion. The sex just happens as an addition to that, if that makes any sense?

But beyond that, a broad is just a broad. I mean, even the pretty young fertile-looking ones... today, the majority are either feminist or they're complete idiots intellectually. And let's be honest: they really do all look the same after a while. Your statement about them being scrawny males with feedbags rang so true. Hear, hear! Let the truth be known!

In the workplace, women often get irritated with me because i do not respond to their looks, nor do i act chivalrous or pay them courtesy for being female. They wanted to be equal. So equal they shall be. But apparently they want to receive the same courtesies enjoyed by their grandmothers. Nope, I don't think so. They're reaping the fruits of their labor now. Boo-hoo for them! If you want a real laugh, here's some real, average women in all their glory... or should i say lack-thereof? http://nakedmommy.tumblr.com/

James said (June 20, 2013):

Very few are able to wean themselves from sexual desire. It sits just too strong and too deep. Our testosterone levels are not something we can consciously control. Testosterone levels recede naturally over the years, though not all at the the same pace. We cannot pride ourselves for having conquered or overcome desire. It just happens to us, and most would stop it if they had a choice.

Was it Diogenes or Socrates or one of these guys who said in old age that only after losing the demon lust was he able to think completely clearly.

For those of us who got enough during our younger years, a lower drive comes as a relief. For those who didn't their unsatisfied desires have burned a mental preoccupation into their brains that may never give them peace. And for those whose drive hasn't receded yet... they do indeed appear like monkeys, or billy goats.

Dan said (June 20, 2013):

Your articles and links on this topic are so right that I can't think of anything to add to it. Readers that don't get it, just aren't are ready yet.

"Despite what we are told, I don't think sex is intended to be a lifelong obsession. It is part of the courtship and procreation phase. We are meant to marry young, have children and outgrow sex to some extent. We were intended to focus our energy on more compelling things." That sums it up. Let he with ears to hear, hear it.

Al Thompson said (June 19, 2013):

Sex is a blessing if it is exercised in the proper context of a married man and woman.

However, in today's world, it seems to be the starting point in a relationship between a man and a woman. I think that having premarital sex is extremely destructive and serves to distort the relationship between a man and a woman. I've never had one good thing come from it. Simply stated, fornication destroys the soul.

The purpose of a loving marriage is to provide a good home for children and love and companionship between a man and a woman. Fornication compromises the relationship in ways most people wouldn't imagine. While some think fornication is love, it is not because it is done in the wrong context. It goes against the commandments and the natural law. The family is a part of natural law for mankind .

The problem as I see it is that young people are feed a diet of sexual perversions which work to destroy the family. But they are not told how to overcome the temptations to fornicate by exercising self-control.

Young people should be married at an earlier age. They shouldn't have to rot in school for 12 years and then have to waste another 4 years being taught by idiots. How is a young person going to control themselves to the age of their early twenties. In an early Christian writing, Clement of Rome said that the young people should marry early so that they don't burn with passion. This makes a lot of sense.

It is best that people in their relationships just wait until they get married to have sex. This takes a lot of pressure off the relationship, and we help to stop a lot of broken hearts in the event of a break up.
http://verydumbgovernment.blogspot.com/2012/07/it-starts-with-fornication.html

J said (June 19, 2013):

I'm the same age as you and still can't get enough of my Thai lady who I encountered online 2010. She is 49, very traditional and has been deserted by her husband 13 years ago for another woman when she was pregnant with her youngest daughter.

To compare myself to an ape would go a bit too far I reckon. But it is strange, when I'm with her I feel like I'm a young man again. She is a hard worker, has a small shop and internet café and constrains me a bit because she's too busy which I accept. But every year, again I look forward to visit her.

My Dutch partner died of cancer in 2004 and one of the last things she asked of me was not to stay alone but to find another woman. Which I did after grieving for 5 years and I'm quite happy now.

It seems a bit strange that men keep their sexual desire longer than women. Women go into menopause around 50 years of age and from then on they seem to do their husbands/partners only favors ...

Robert said (June 19, 2013):

We come into this world innocent and curious. I have known a few people who have retained these traits, or recovered them after leaving the largely pretend world of "work". In advanced age they have been mentally alert (still curious), playful, physically fit and largely immune to care. Emphatically not Henry Kissinger types!

An educational system designed to discourage general curiosity and a cultural environment contrived to sexualize everyone from the earliest age are enemies of the beautiful traits we are endowed with at birth. This is indeed satanic, in large part because it prevents our experience of love on the divine pattern. Participating in and propagating such love (a limitless resource, as the poet Dante pointed out) is the only purpose of life.

Life undoubtedly has its phases, but the idea that becoming an adult involves "wising up", meaning shedding the inherent honesty and trustingness of youth, is intrinsically anti-Christian. Jesus assured us that our heavenly Father is perfect in His love for us, His children, whom He would have grow into full son/daughtership through emulation.

JG said (June 19, 2013):

It's the imagination that perverts the sex life. Most women look better with their clothes on than off. Not all, but most. Why? Because it's our imagination at work painting a picture through the vanity of our own minds.

Pornography is an artificial form of nudity that encourages "adultery of the heart". The reason there is more perversion out there than maybe ever before is because technology is a man made substitute for what is real.

We are in love with fantasy and not truth and reality. What kind of a man would love "skin flicks" more than his wife?